it's a ghost baby!

• So here's the lowdown on what's been going on. if you get squeemish, there really aren't a whole lot of details, but the nature of the topic does involve a few nitty gritties. in february just before kempton turned one, we found out that i was pregnant. SHOCKER to us, but we just went with it, sure okay. so this past weekend we went camping and i started spotting which i wasn't too worried about, it's happened before. but later that night i was out with a girlfriend and started to bleed a bit heavier, sooooo, we came home, she stayed with the kids (thanks misty!) and then brad and i went up to the hospital. (soooo many complaints about that, but later) they checked my blood levels, which were a little low (3600) for 11 weeks, but that's not a huge deal. but the real kicker was when we went to get the ultrasound
• (funny story insert here.... after they told us about the ultrasound, a nurse comes in and says, ok i'm here to put in your catheter... ???!!!??! WHAT! no thanks, don't need one. oh but you DO! nope, i've been drinking my water, got plenty i mean PLENTY of liquid in here...pointing to my bladder area. uhm, so much that you're gonna cry if you con't go pee? uhm, i don't cry if i have to pee, i just go pee. well, if you don't get this and the tech gets here (who is at the other hospital cause they only have one? idk) and you don't have enough, then you'll have to wait possibly like hours to get another chance. geeze, guilt trip me here. fine just do it. OUCH! gee thanks. you're welcome, this will start to drain a little bit, and then oh my, you DID have a LOT in there. hehe, guess you didn't need this after all...hheehehe. hehe my EYE lousy nurse! well, when you get back there for the ultrasound, the tech will fill your bladder back up. enjoy! geee thanks!
• anyways, so finally we get to the ultrasound and the tech says i'm just gonna take a ton of pictures and then i'll turn it around and show you. hmmm, hmmm, not too many pictures, then she asks, is this the first ultrasound you've had with this pregnancy? yup. hmm, ok. well then we look over and see a big black "bubble" but no absolutely nothing is in there. we've had enough experiences with ultrasounds to know that at 11 weeks you should definately be able to see a baby like figure, but it was completely empty. so she drains my bladder.... hmmmm whatever, and does the other kind of ultrasound. and still sees nothing.
• so fast forward to tuesday when i get in to see dr. myers (the absolutely best ob i've had!!!!) and the way she described it was great. so i'll try to reiterate it. a blighted ovum... so say you have a chicken egg, and you open it up and there is the egg white, but no yolk... so in that egg there could never NEVER ever be a chicken. there isn't the yolk to develop into one. but the egg white still does it's job. so what happened with me is that the egg was fertilized and implanted, hence the positive pregnancy test, and developed the placenta and such that happens for the firs several weeks of a pregnancy, hence the nausea and tossing food stuff, and tiredness, emotional unstablity and growing uterus. but eventually the body realizes that there is never going to be a baby and flushes everything out.
• so, according to the utlrasound, technically i am still pregnant, but just not with a baby. we like to call it our little ghost baby. my MIL says those are the best kind! no dirty laundry, no 2 am feedings, absolutely perfect! hehe.
• so now i just wait to actually miscarry. i have to go back every week to make sure everything is going ok, but if my body doesn't finish things up in 3 or 4 weeks, then they'll do a d&c. which i would get to be put out for, which actually doesn't sound to bad... a forced nap??? hmmm, might just be a good possiblity. we'll see how things go.
• as far as how we're taking this, cause i'm sure you are all wondering, all 3 of you who look at this poorly kept up blog (i'll do better i promise!) at first we were kind of oddly relieved in a way. our 1100 square foot home doesn't seem to have the proper layout for 4 young kids, although i have several friends who make even smaller spaces work (kuddos kat!) and brad's still in the phd program... one car... whatever, but at the same time, a new baby is always a blessing and so sweet. so at first i thought i was fine with it, especially since the last miscarraige i had i didn't even know i was preg until the baby actually came out (long story) so i had no sad feelings with it, so i kinda assumed that's how it would go. but then we walked passed the baby section in target and i totally broke down. so sb, who had been playing in glitter makeup earlier that day gave me a hug, and then rubbed her face on mine and passed on some of that glitter to make me feel better. what a great kid that one. so for now that's what's going on.