Friday, December 30, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
in which i hopefully end the story
the tornado was a wednesday. the following several days consisted of everyone able going into town to help clear debris, trees, and help people collect what belongings they could. it turned out that 4 families in our ward from church had lost their homes and belongings. the next 2 sundays we just had combined sacrament with the other ward and then everyone left to continue to help. but back to joseph. wednesday, then thursday through sunday brad helped with manual labor and i watched kids so that others could help too... not much a 9 month pregnant lady can lift...
monday, brad had a phone interview with a university from north carolina. the kids' and i went to a friends house during the interview so brad could pay attention... he said he thought it went ok... then tuesday they emailed him for a campus visit. This is where it gets funny. He emailed them back telling him how he would LOVE to come for a visit... HOWEVER, his wife (me;) was due in just 10 days and if he could somehow request it be before this day or after the 16th, (which was after my mom was to arrive). so they told him on thursday that they would fly him out on sunday (mother's day too) and have him home by monday night. so that's what happened. I was under strict instruction to lay on the couch and have a lazy day with the kids for monday... and thanks to another pregnant friend, the kids and i went over to her house and spent mother's day together since everyone was still out helping with clean up. however, I decided that since hobby lobby was taken out by the tornado, and the other cloth store wasn't opening due to electrical problems from the tornado, another friend and i and the kiddlets traveled to birmingham to try out joann fabrics and their hobby lobby. see, after having 3 kids, i wanted a diaper bag that fit MY criteria... and none that i was finding was fitting the description.... unless i wanted to pay oodles of noodles! so thanks to ali, we went on an adventure and had fun! Monday night brad came home and said he had had fun too, but he wasn't so sure how it went. Tuesday mid morning, they called and offered him the job! but he still wasn't sure if he would take it... it actually only amounted to the same as what brad made with his assistantship and student loans, plus we would have to pay out of state graduate tuition if we took it... (obviously you know we did end up taking the job... since this post is 7 months past...)
anyways, wednesday the plan was that my friend (who had just moved here) was going to watch my boys during my dr apt and then we were going to have a sewing party and get our craft on making baby things... most particularly my diaper bag that i designed and FINALLY had the fabric for. well i had been having contractions all morning, but nothing that was out of the ordinary. although there were some more intense ones in the waiting room... when my dr checked me i was at a 4 and she could feel my water. well with sb i was at a 4 for the last 7 weeks of pregnancy... i still felt like it wouldn't be until saturday for whatever reason. the dr didn't seem all that concerned either. so we said farewell and i got in the car and was on the phone and driving (i know i know...) when i had a contraction so intense while i was driving i couldn't even talk. i turned the car around and picked up brad. I told the baby he couldn't come yet... i still had my list of things i needed to finish before he was born.... my list was 4 pages long... anyways, we decided brad would drop me and my sewing stuff off with my friend and he would go home and work on my list at least til sb got off the bus.
well, i enjoyed a yummy lunch with my friend, all the while we timed my "surges". 6 minutes here, 5 there... going in between 4-6 minutes. i would just pause and breath then go back to cutting my fabric and ironing the seams and sewing until i had to sway and completely block everything out. i couldn't even have tj or k talk to me. i was like, uhm, i think it's time to call brad... i didn't want to wait too long because of the whole GBS thing we discussed earlier... so as soon as sb got home he got in the car with her and came to pick me and the boys up. it was at this point that we realized that our designated kid watcher couldn't take the kids but with in 15 minutes things worked out and our other friend was able to make it work. and it worked well, actually. we were borrowing our friend's car while they were out of town so we dropped off the van at the kid watcher's (confused yet?) and took our friend's car to the hospital (thanks again mays!!!!!)
on the way i thought i should call the dr's office just to let them know. well when i called and spoke with the nurse i said, "hi, i'm in labor and heading to the hospital, i just thought i should let you know." she actually told me to wait at home to make sure i was "really" in labor and they'd have a nurse call me back, then i told her this is baby #4, my labors have been 5-6 hrs in the past, i'm gbs +, and was at a 4 this morning... she told me to hold on and so i was put on hold. then i started having another contraction so i passed the phone to brad. all i heard was him saying "uhm no, this is her husband. i'm pretty sure she's serious, i have the phone cause she can't talk through the contractions... well, either way we're on our way." and that was that.
silly silly nurse.
didn't she know that of all people... I... ME.... I would be the one trying to postpone this????
anways, we were having a good laugh about that when i started to have another contraction... well we were laughing too much that i couldn't concentrate and breathe so it really hurt and there i was going back and forth between HAHAH, OWOWOWOW HAHAHA OWOWOW... then we walked into the hospital and up to the nurses' station. Can we help you? they ask... sure, i said, i'm in labor.
... then i got "that" look... of yeah, we'll see. "did your water break sweetie?", "nope, but this is baby #4, i have "fast" labors, i'm gbs + and was at a 4 just before lunch at my appt." So they took us to the triage room and told us to wait for our nurse, but to change... sadly i never got a "real" just before going to the hospital picture, but i did get this :)
anyways, so i get on the bed and they hook me up to the monitors and watch for a little bit, and are like yes, well you ARE having consistent contractions (DUH...) and then when she checked me she was super suprised... she goes WOW, your at a 6 1/2 (really... how can you tell it's 1/2???) almost 7 and your water is bulging... she said you're not going anywhere. (i really felt entitled to a great big I TOLD YA SO moment...)
so they were getting the other room ready (just so happened to be the same exact room we had kempton in!) and brad was calling my family. he had called my sisters' phone and our nephew, ashton answered... i had started to have another contraction during this and my bags were still in the car so i didn't have my mp3 player to use my scripts yet, but i hear brad say "no ashton, not uncle DAD, uncle BRAD... BRAD... BRAD?" and i started laughing again... but then we were back to me "hahahah... owowowowow-ing"... that was the only time i was mean and said GET OUT to brad... but he understood :) after we got back to our room and iv stuff started and i had my mp3 player everything was great! the nurse was trying to get paperwork done so whe would talk and ask questions and when i felt one coming i would pause, put my other earpiece in and press play, close my eyes and relax. then when it was over, i'd take a deep breath and open my eyes and smile! i was so excited after each one! and it really wasn't hurting AT ALL... as long as i could relax. but if i was distracted it really was painful. that's kind of the way it went till i felt nauseous. the nurse decided to check me and i was at a 9 1/2. the dr came in about then too (we'd only been back in the room for about 45 minutes and at the hospital for a total of almost 2.5 hours.) it was obvious we wouldn't make it the whole 4 hours for a second dose of antibiotics, and he wanted to be sure that there wasn't any meconium in the waters, so he broke my water...
(side note... if we have anymore, i will NOT be letting them break my water!)
water was clear! and the next 2 or 3 contractions were fine but then after that i just couldn't get a handle on them and the next 1/2 hour or so were seriously agonizing. the position i was most "comfortable" in was on my knees, bum in the air and my head seriously like rammed into the headboard. i did some weird noise breathing thing through the contractions that i'm sure sounded super bizarre, but they helped. But i was soooooo weak i couldn't hold my body up to change positions and was getting super dizzy and lightheaded. the nurse had me get on my back to start some "practice pushes"... yeah right... i did one and she had me stop... STOP??? sure i can stop... NOT... actually i did stop pushing but my stomach didn't... i actually was trying to hold things in but do you know how seriously IMPOSSIBLE that it? she hurried to get everything ready and just about delivered joseph herself... the dr came in and then said to push.
now, i've delivered with epidurals before... 2 that have "worn off" or so i thought. even still i felt quite a bit more with the ones that wore off than with the one that didn't... but when i pushed with drugs it was super easy. 5 minutes for sarahbeth, 3 pushes for tj and not even a full push for kempton. and as soon as the baby slid out... like seriously as soon as their feet were out it was like this amazing rush of adrenaline and i felt great! This was way different. I couldn't even get a full breath to push. so i think it was like 2 pushes this time for joseph to get all the way out...i just closed my eyes and laid there. i opened my eyes for a split second to see oh, he looks just like kempton... and then i waited.... and waited... no energy... eventually i felt the need to push the afterbirth out which was obviously easier, but felt very odd indeed.
and then, i got cold.
and weaker.
and shaky.
i couldn't even hold him until after i had showered because i was so shaky and weak. so brad did. i remembered later that one of the times that i opened my eyes, brad was crying. he did that when sb was born too... but they did his first bath while i still hadn't held him yet, and took him to the nursery to do what they do in the nursery. while they did that brad ran out to wendy's to get us some food because the cafeteria had closed and i got into the shower all by myself! it felt much better as far as that went after with out an epidural but i still was wondering what happened to that burst of energy?!?!?
Joseph Kambak Holley was born at 8:05 pm only 3 hours after arriving at the hospital and measuring 7 pounds 6 oz and 20 3/4 inches long. it was almost 10:30 by the time i was able to hold him for the first time... and it was so sweet! i just loved him... and at that point was not so sure i ever wanted to do that again.
now when we had our other kids, we kept them in the hospital room with us. but with kempton, the first night he choked on his spit or something and we woke up to him gasping for air and then couldn't sleep the rest of the night. so the nurses kept him so we could get some rest. i realized that was the awesomest thing ever! so that's what we decided to do with this baby from the bat.
unfortunately i didn't sleep. yah, i found my adrenaline... i layed there like it was christmas eve waiting for them to bring him in for me to nurse :) i didn't sleep the entire night. the recovery after that was fantastic. and after the first day i asked brad about the noises i made... he said they were fine... and then the further we got from it he truthfully said they were kinda weird but it worked so not to worry about it...:) and me..... after the first couple days i didn't want to think about childbirth...but by the end of the week i was really excited to try it again... just not sure when that will be.
so just to recap... wed, 4/27 tornado/almost baby day. monday 5/2 phone interview, tues 5/3 campus visit offer, sunday 5/8 mother's day, brad leaves for campus visit, monday 5/9 late night he returns, tuesday 5/10 he gets the job offer, wed 5/11 new baby! in a quick, mostly painless labor... except for the last 1/2 hour, 1/2 cm...
wow... uhm where'd i leave off...
ah yes. so i had a new "birthing buddy" sorta..
I think I have to back my story up to april 26th, just to give a little back story to help understand the craziness of the next 2 weeks. Tuesday, April 26th I had one of me weekly appointments where i was checked... maybe a fingertip dilated... nothing big even with this being baby #4. so again to add to my angst of not going into labor naturally.
Then, Wednesday happened. It began as a muggy yucky day with several small tornadoes around Alabama... already not a good day. we (me and the kiddos) had some good friends over to play for the morning and possibly to last through the day with the hopes that the university would just cancel classes and that brad would bring friend's hubby home with him since their home was an older, less structurally sound one and just to be on the safe side we could all squeeze into our bathroom :) kind of a weird party plan no?
anyways, kiddos got tired so plans changed and my friend and her son went home... then brad came home... actually he was going to stop at hobby lobby for me and Barnes and Nobel for sb's birthday present, but i told him to just come straight home (thank goodness because the timing would have been perfect... perfectly awful!)
The weather was getting pretty intense and the last that we got from the weather man before the electricity went out was that there was a HUGE tornado, about a mile wide up top? was coming through... originally directed straight for moundville (our house) but then shifting up to tuscaloosa (they all seem to shift around the river by our house... thank goodness for us) and heading basically towards my friend's house. so i called her and let her know just in case she hadn't heard yet... then the power was out and all our neighbors gathered on our porch. we lived on the hill and looked directly at the tornado... (i do have a couple of pictures and video that i might add later...idk) it was crazy...
* now, before you all go thinking we're crazy tornado watchers... we lived 10 miles south of where the tornado was at... well in the "safety zone"... we barely got any rain even!
The next we heard on the radio was that krispy kremes was gone and i started bawling. brad of course gave me a hug and said all would be alright but it wasn't until later that he put 2 and 2 together... our friends from earlier lived RIGHT behind/kiddie corner(?) to the krispy kremes place... he just figured preggo wife who loves donuts was very distraught. this helped us laugh later that night.
As we were all (neighbors and us) just in shock over all of this and hearing from our radio what was going on, we learned our cell phones wouldn't work... we couldn't call out or txt out... BUT we could txt to facebook and receive calls... thank goodness annalie is a worry wort when it comes to tornadoes and was able to check in with us and make some calls for us and i was able to get messages to my family via facebook! but it was seriously one of those situations where panic sets in when you don't know what's really going on.
*side note (i know this doesn't seem to have to do with birth but i'll get there :) just a few months before in book club we read a book (my pick) called One Second After... later we all discussed how eerie we felt recalling events from the book and comparing them to our after-tornado experience.
anyways, as these things were happening my neighbors (awesome neighbors...) were taking turns rubbing my lower back and they realized there was kind of a pattern to my "aches"... and then we played the game of "am i in labor- no, i can't be in labor..." it wasn't until the weather man gave the all clear for our area that i had a contraction that brought me to my knees that i thought... well uhm maybe...the next problem was that we weren't sure how to get to the hospital... see the tornado crossed the 359/69 (which i'm sure to most of you means nothing) but that's the road that we need to take to get directly to the hospital that my doctor is at. somehow my neighbor got through to 911, we just wanted to see what the best way to get there was and they were misunderstanding us and trying to send out an ambulance... which we didn't need... especially since i'm SURE there was a greater need for them all over tuscalossa... not for me.
eventually brad and i made it into the car (my bag wasn't even ready yet!) and the neighbors kept the kids since we had no way to get in touch with our kid care friends... or our back up plans either... and thank goodness it was dark as we were getting into town. what we DID see was heartbreaking enough. and luckily for us, all the traffic was going the other way. What we did see were tons of cars just crumpled and dumped along side the highway... just as if someone crumples up a tissue when they're done... so weird. It was at this point when brad realized why i was so upset about krispy kremes...
when we got to the hospital, brad quickly gave me a blessing and then we hurried inside. it was eerily quiet, and dim. we told the nurses what had happened and they put us in a room on the other side since they had moved everyone closer to the one nurses' station. also, they were running off a generator and so there was no tv, no radio, no internet (of course)... and only dimly lit rooms. they hooked me up to the monitor and sure enough, contractions were regular and 3 minutes apart. when i was checked i had made it to just about a 2. compared to a fingertip the day before...
they decided to keep us for a while... brad and i talked and both decided we did NOT want to have this baby that night.. not that we get a say in it or anything, but there was just so much that was going to need to be done that having a baby right then would have made helping difficult. To pass the time, and hopefully help me relax, brad was able to borrow a book from the hospital's library :) it was a detective novel that reminded me of sherlock holmes... and a lot of the book coincided with what we were experiencing that day/evening... the description of the weather, the dimly lit room that the detective was led to... and so on. we amused at that for a bit...
then things began to slow down and i wasn't contracting all that much anymore... the dr said he was fine with keeping me there and admitting us to have a baby if we wanted, but we opted to go home. he said it was most likely the stress of the day and the pressure that started the labor process but that as we were able to come down from that and relax it would probably calm down too.
when we finally got home and got the kids from next door, brad set up "camp" in the living room with the kids and let me have the bed all to myself...
(this is a REALLLY long birth story no? is anyone still here????)
Monday, October 17, 2011
And it's only taken me 5 months
to get this on here...
(side note here... I find with 4 kids that finding the time to record things is super hard and so from here on I will be recording most things here... please feel free to skip over too-detailed parts and please don't be offended by what I write...)
Joseph is our fourth child.
He is the first pregnancy since sarahbeth that we ALMOST got to plan :) (we found out i was pregnant the month before we planned on starting to try for another baby:)
And from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I KNEW I wanted to do it naturally. With our ghost baby I had decided I wanted to try and go naturally using what a several of my friends had used, hypnobirthing . One of my friends is even an instructor and has had all of her babies at home and the last few were water births. From my own personal experiences I have learned that my body doesn't handle epidurals well, and I'm pretty sensitive to medicine, so I ordered the book on line and began to read it when I had finally come to terms of being pregnant with the GB. But when I began to miscarry I loaned the book to a friend and didn't think about it again... until I had another positive pregnancy test in May of 2010. at first I was a little shocked and then really excited... and then 1 week later when I started bleeding I actually sobbed. That's when I realized that I wanted another baby. So our discussion on the matter began and we had decided to start planning in September.
Then, as my expected cycle for September was soon to begin, I woke up early one morning with the feeling that i just KNEW i was pregnant. 5 days BEFORE aunt flo (i always found that phrase awkward...) was due to arrive, I jumped out of bed (i'm pretty sure it was around 5 am) and ran to use one of the tests from the box that i had recently purchased. well because it was around 5 in the morning, i wasn't paying too much attention to the type of tester stick thing i was using... i mean seriously, i've been pregnant uhm 7 times at this point and had several "possible" time that i thought/dreaded maybe freak outs... so i think i'm sort of an old pro at taking the tests... two lines right? well this time i took the test and after getting myself all situated i looked at the test stick and realized there was a digital hourglass doing flips on a screen... uhm, first of all, a screen???? I never buy those kind... the dollar store tests work just as well as those fancy schmancy tests, and i'm such a cheapie that I just refuse to pay more for something that works just as good. let me tell you that was the longest 3 minutes! but sure enough it said PREGNANT (all in caps :) So then I was super excited, like this was the best early birthday present ever!!!!
plus, thanks to the advice of a couple of friends, I have been using the Fertility Awareness Method not only for a form of birth planing, but to get to know my body better... I think brad and i are in like the .002% of birth control failure percentages... we've tried it all (except for the shot and the patch), and have gotten pregnant on all of it, or it just didn't work right for us. So I had noticed a second temperature shift early on too... however even using this method we were very careful around "that" time, but it just goes to show that our kids are meant to be here i guess :)
anyways, so the 2nd thought after finding out i was pregnant was now i get to use my book! And I had planned to labor as long as i could at home for a couple of reasons, on being that despite my desire to use a birthing center or midwife, both at this time are illegal in Alabama, and as much as it might be growing on me, I think for us a home birth just isn't a smart option given my medical history. So a natural birth at the hospital with minimal in hospital laboring without induction and iv was my goal. Unfortunately I tested positive with Group B strep. Which I had never done before with any of the other kids. so this changed a few things. One I would need to be hooked to an iv during labor to administer antibiotics, two, i would need to come to the hospital as soon as labor began since my last 3 labors had all been between 5-6 hours and the peds like to have 2 doses of antibiotics in before the baby is delievered and they are given 4 hours apart.
So that was that.
Now when I learned my due date was May 13, 2011 we all got excited because that is the day before Sarahbeth's 7th birthday. and if she couldn't have a sister, she wanted a baby brother to share her birthday :)
With all my other babies I have been induced at least 1 week before the due date. For sb this was because i was in pro dromo labor and the dr felt it was best to help get things going. With TJ it was for convenience since we had just moved to OK and my mom was going to come help so we wanted to make sure everything would work out for her time off from work. plus tj's due date kept getting moved up since he was growing so big! his original due date was dec 6 and he was born 11/23 at 8 lbs 11 oz! anyways, Kempton was induced 10 days early again for my mom to be there and for it to work out for her schedule.
This time around I didn't want to be induced, although the other times worked out timing wise, I wanted to be able to go natural and didn't want to mess anything up with being induces. After talking this over with my dr (LOVE her!) She said that was fine and if we wanted, since she was scheduled to be on call the weekend i was due, we could just go in the hospital on the 14 and she would just break my water to help things get started, which yes, i understand is a form of induction, but i figured by that time it would be past my due date and enough progress might have been made... and i don't know why, but i just assumed that since i hadn't ever givven my body a real chance that it wouldn't go into labor on its own. In fact that was my biggest concern and worry, not about the labor and delivery but going into labor and would i really know when it was real! I asked one of my friends and she said when it you can't talk through a contraction, it's a pretty good indication that you should get to the hospital.
Also, just a couple of months before joseph was due, a new friend moved into the area! and she was due just a couple weeks after me! AND we got to talking and not only did she love cloth diapers and switch to them, but she LOVED the idea of going naturally! so now i had a buddy!!!! which gave me extra motivation to go through with my birth plan!
WOW, This is getting to be pretty long. sorry. i will finish in another post :)
Friday, September 2, 2011
Oma's visit
My mom ("oma") loves traditions. One of my favorite ones that she has started is being there for each of her grandkids' first day of kindergarten. She was here for sb's, or rather in alabama when she started and so we were really excited and grateful when she decided to come out for tj's first day and stay for a week to help us get settled.
We found a SCREAMING deal on airfare so we jumped on that...Unfortunately we found out when we went to go register the kids that Kindergarten starts a whole week AFTER the rest of the school !!! They do 4 assessment days for the kindergartners and assign them each a day to go. tj's assigned day was the day my mom was scheduled to leave :( and to change the date of travel was going to cost as much as the ticket itself costed!!! Thankfully we were able to get the day changed to the same as sb's first day so we pretended that was his first day :) and all worked out just fine:)
Here are some pictures of us showing Oma around Brad's new work! It is a beautiful campus with super friendly student, staff, and faculty!!!
ooops, forgot joseph :)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
first "days" of school
Here in Wingate (pronounced Wing-it, go soft on the "t") the elementary school has kindergartners starting a week after the first through fifth graders. But for the first four days they divide the kindergartners up to do an assessment day. TJ's was set for the 30th but we were able to get them to change it to the 25th, so he "started" the same day as sarahbeth.
This is TJ's ACTUAL first day of kindergarten, September 1st. (and yes, sb's hair is about 6 inches shorter than last week)
And then here, seriously..... I had to take a picture of the painting on the wall to the bathrooms here... reminds me of Mikey from Look Who's Talking....can we say creepy?
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
just a little hello...
the big hello will come once we actually get INto our new home (nope, still not in yet, but we're enjoying our family vacation at the lake!) (just feeling anxious and wanting to get settled but not appear ungrateful...)
so in the mean time... until we get internet... enjoy some holleys on the lake!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Where I am proven once again...
Through out this entire process of job-hunting, home hunting, and tenant hunting, I've tried to maintain the attitude of faith... I know my Heavenly Father has always taken care of our family, and I know that we've always had to prove our faith, but sometimes I wonder if he just likes to watch me squrim.
We pack our moving truck in 6 days and pull out in 7... and we still had no one to rent our home... or a home to go to really. The tenants in the NC were supposed to be out a few weeks ago, then a week later, and then a week later... they assured the landlord that they have a place and would be out, but then they refused to leave until the 8th, which is when their new place would be ready. but they haven't paid rent in months, and L.L. has been extreemly patient with them, but they just simply refused to leave until they had somewhere else to go. unfortunately that left us with no-where to go either... but L.L. called me with a plan... a fantastic plan. He apologized over and over and asked if we would be ok if he put us up in his other property that is their family's personal lakefront home... hmmm, i really didn't have to think hard about that one :) but it took a bit for brad to take to it... it's not like we really have much of an option.
So that is settled. (for now...sorta, well enough for me anyways...)
And then today we had a family over that is moving here from utah for school, for the next 4 years! and they didn't have much luck finding anything else in town to rent and they want to rent our house!!!! :)
so, in the words of bob marley..."Don't worry, about a thing, cause every little thing, is gonna be alright..."
I hope I have shown the faith and passed this test (maybe not "aced" it... but passed ;) thanks everyone who has had to listen to me moan and groan about all this... and for everyone's prayers!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
blah!
how is today going you might ask?
blah!.... blah blah blah blah blah.
but that's ok. we have some fun plans in the works for tomorrow, saturday, and a few more for next week.
I'm trying to figure out how to say goodbye...
(i hate goodbyes...)
reality is starting to set in. there are only 7 more weekdays and 2 more weekends here...
how do i say goodbye to a home that is the only home our kids have known? a place where we brought home 2 babies! and potty trained 3! a home where 2 of our children learned to walk, 3 learned to open doors and climb on top of counters and even the refrigerator! a home that has provided us shelter and protection from elements of all kinds physical and spiritual.
how do i say goodbye to friends who have become family, only to leave to a place where i know no-one? friends who have listened to the promptings of the spirit and called or paid a visit precisely when it was needed, or who have given help without being asked? who have provided great advice, love and devotion to our family?
how do i help our children to say goodbye? I've been sharing stories and experiences of the times i moved growing up and i think that has helped them... we've been trying to make sure they get a chance to spend last moments with special friends... and getting them excited about a new adventure as a family! they seem happy about that...
so many emotions moving through me that i feel dizzy all the time just trying to figure out what to do next! I still haven't started the medicine, but on days that i think, yeah, i should start that tomorrow, and then i wake up and "tomorrow" is great! so then i feel like i can wait another day... i can't decide how much of my "BLAH!" is due to everything else... when i was at a visit with my ob before baby j was born we kind of went over some of the reasons behind depression... new baby, moving, moving to a new state, school change, job change, divorce... brad and i joked that well, except for that last one, we could pretty much check the whole list off... and then we learned of several dear friends and their own divorces or separations in process... so BAM.
So now i have this song in my head... and i think i'll close with that. Hello all!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBZ8ulc5NTg
Monday, July 18, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Happy Day!
This is a Happy Day!
no real reason why.
I have a tendency to get postpartum depression... and it becomes worse after each pregnancy. I have a funny thing with medicine... we don't work well together... so i'm always cautious about taking anything...
I always feel like there should be SOMETHING really wrong before I would take medicine...
and most times I fell like I "DESERVE" to feel like this...
for example, i think "well, i haven't been very good at saying my prayers lately... it more or less becomes an opportunity for a quick doze rather than a good heart to heart with the One that knows me best." OR "I haven't read my scriptures lately, or exercised, or made my family a good, healthy meal, or spoke kindly to my children, or... whatever..."
in the past it's taken me to the point of questioning my very existence, and it's usually at that point that i ask for help and get happy pills... it's also at that point that my baby begins to sleep through the night and i get good... i mean REALLY GOOD uninterrupted sleep... i think that may be correlated ;)
this time, with a big move, new state, new job, new baby, new EVERYTHING! i went ahead and got the prescription at my check up apt, and even got it filled. We also took proactive steps before this baby was born and talked with some close friends who have really stepped in and taken almost every opportunity to help me get the rest and sleep i need. (with 4 young kids, that becomes a huge necessity, my energy really get sucked out all day long!) and brad has really stepped in and (he is normally a great husband and dad anyways...) but he really has tried to help me in anyway possible.
I have the filled bottle of pills, and even refilled for the next one, but i haven't taken any yet. in fact just this week brad has asked several times "uhm, do you think you'll start those soon?"
but, this last week, the baby has also started sleeping longer at night. at first it was 6 hours, then 7, then 3 (that was not a good night, but...) then it got to be 8-10 hours at night... in fact last night he went from being fed at 9 pm and slept until 7:45! let me tell you HOW GOOD THAT FELT!
Yesterday brad said to me, "you seem really happy today. if everyday were like today, do you think you would need those pills?"
i hope not...
i hope that i can do well to keep up with our home (which if it gets behind i get grumpy anyways...)
i hope that i can do better at my personal things, like praying, scripture study, exercising....
i hope that i can be kinder and more patient with my family...
i hope that i can stress less and live more...
but regardless of what comes and goes...
This is a happy day!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
And Here It Is!
just don't expect a whole lotta detail ;)
so i was finally able to talk to the owner of this property last night and everything is good for us to move in august 2nd!
once the current tenants have moved he will send us pics of the inside... wait what is that you ask? we decided to rent a home we haven't even seen ? yup. sure, why not? it's only a year...
and the only one with a garage :)
this 3 bed 2 bath has a master bedroom on the main floor an d 2 bedrooms upstairs, a large deck out beck as well as a "seasonal room".
so the countdown is on & we just need someone to rent out our house here :)
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