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- My Uncle passed away today. He had an agressive form of lymphoma, and i'm not sure really how i feel about it. of course i'm upset, and when my mom called me, tj had just had a stinky accident in his "BIG BOY" underwear (yes, we are potty training!) so i immediatly ran into the bedroom where brad was and was crying (which made brad extreemly concerned) and said tj just had an accident, so in a way it was a little funny. We weren't extreemly close, but i do love him and am so greatful for having known him and remembering all the different experiences and times we had to visit together. i know my mom always looked up to him with love, respect and admiration, and because of that, i do too.
- But this is my concern, my uncle wasn't extreemly religious and his family are pretty reserved, which is just fine, but sometimes it makes it a little hard to be close to them. Anyways, they are not doing any sort of service, just a "gathering." and my aunt was suprised to hear that my mom (my uncles sister of course) and my sister and i wanted to go and pay our respects. So out of my respect for their wishes, i will not be going, (i have to admit i am a little relieved since i'd have to fly out with kempton and arrange for the other 2 while brad is at school and work), but my mom and especially my sister are pretty hurt by this. is this odd? does anyone have any suggestions on how one might help and be supportive from afar for both sides?
- on an even more depressing note... (don't read if you want to stay happy i guess) how sad is it that now my mom is the sole living member of her immediate family. my grandfather was married 2 times, and with my grandma had my uncle tom (who passed away in feb of 06 due to cancer), my uncle jamie (who passed away today of cancer) and then my mom. my grandmother passed in 1981, and my grandpa in 1986. She has a great older half brother (uncle mike) and 2 half sisters. but it still isn't the same. there is no longer anyone to share the intimate memories with anymore, and it scares me that since they have all passed away so young, and from cancer, will i still have my mom around in a couple of years. i know that a lot of people loose a parent at a young age. even brad lost his dad when he was 19. but i honestly don't know what i would do without my mom. we talk normally at least once a day, if there are no crisies going on, and i'm pretty sure my sister would fall apart as well. not really any more thought to that, but just needed to get it out at this point.
5 comments:
Noel, I am so sorry for your loss. I think that is messed up that they are telling no one to come. Stuart's sister had a baby born to early (late enough to look like a baby, but to little to save). We wanted to go up (to Utah) for a little get together they were having and they told us not to. It made us sad, because we wanted to support his sister. Maybe the reason they don't want anyone to come, is so they can have their time to grieve without having to entertain people...does that make sense?
Maybe you could send something to them as a family (your mom, sister & you)..like a little photo album with memories of him.
I hope your mom stays healthy! cancer is a scary thing..my mom, both my grandmas, and a great aunt or two have had breast cancer in my family.
I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. My aunt died on Sunday of a brain tumor and it sounds like we had a similar relationship: not close, but loads of respect. Why was your aunt so surprised? Unless she specifically said, "Don't come, we don't want you here," I say go and just hang in the background. The other option is for your mom to go out in a week and help with things around the house or something...like cleaning out rooms or going through some of your uncle's things if your aunt isn't able to. Dealing with this stuff is hard at any level; it's so hard to know what to do or say. You guys will find a way!
Hey sorry to hear about your uncle and yeah why did you say she was surprised? Did she actually say don't come? Are they against the church? Did something happen? Anyway I know we're prying but I was just confused.
Anyway, the video on my blog that you were confused about. It is about a love lost and the ultimate outcome of letting go.
I am sorry Noel. It is never fun to lose a family member especially when their immediate family members do not have the church to give them comfort. That is such a bummer your mom could not go to be supportive and pay respects.
It is hard not to worry about our family members closest to us. We just need to keep in mind the Lord has a plan for all of us and we can find comfort in him. Hang in there.
So sorry for your loss !
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